Monica Lewinsky was at the centre of one of the largest political scandals in American history in 1998. She was a teenage White House intern who had an affair with President Bill Clinton. The affair was made public, and Lewinsky became the subject of intense media scrutiny and public shame.
In her TED Talk titled “The Price of Shame,” Lewinsky discussed her experience and how it has affected her life. She began by saying she had been publicly silent for a decade before giving her talk. She joked with the audience, saying that some might have only heard of her from rap songs, as she has been referenced in almost 40 rap songs.
Lewinsky then shared how, at 22, she fell in love with her boss, President Clinton. She admitted to making a mistake and expressed her great remorse. But what followed was an unparalleled amount of public humiliation and cyberbullying. Derogatory names applied to Lewinsky included “tramp,” “tart,” “slut,” “whore,” and “bimbo.”
Lewinsky noted that this happened before the rise of social media, but people could still comment online, email stories, and send cruel jokes. News sources plastered photos of her to sell newspapers, banner ads online, and keep people tuned to the TV. She talked about a particular image of her wearing a beret, acknowledging that it was a mistake, but the attention and judgment she received were unprecedented.
Lewinsky shared that she was patient zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously. This rush to judgment, enabled by technology, led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers. The attention and determination that she received were not just about the story but about her personally. She was seen by many but known by few. Lewinsky said it was easy to forget that she was dimensional, had a soul, and was once unbroken.
Lewinsky’s experience is not unique, and she acknowledged that cyberbullying and online harassment is prevalent today. She hopes her experience can lead to a change that results in less suffering for others. She discussed how the experience shaped her cultural perceptions and how she utilized them to speak out against online abuse and cyberbullying.
Lewinsky shared a particularly painful moment from her experience. In September of 1998, she was sitting in a windowless office room inside the Office of the Independent Counsel, listening to secretly taped phone calls that a supposed friend had made the year before. She was legally required to authenticate all 20 hours of the taped conversation personally. For the past eight months, the mysterious content of these tapes had hung like the sword of Damocles over her head. Lewinsky was deeply ashamed of the worst version of herself, a self she didn’t even recognize.
Lewinsky ended her talk by saying that shame can kill her, and it did almost kill her. She discussed how it is important to go past guilt, admit that we all make mistakes, and learn from them. Lewinsky’s speech was strong and motivating, and it serves as a reminder that, especially in the era of the internet, we must be kind and sympathetic to one another.
